Ideally, in our minds, this is a great question. I expect them to talk about themselves, I will have a better understanding of where they are at, maybe hear a bit of pain and most likely a bit on how the next few months are going to look like. Sometimes you could talk about money, and if you are like me, that could be a good thing because I could always use some.
However, in my world, this rarely happens. What is worse is that the question has not been asked about how much time has been alloted to the agenda for this conversation to take place. In my world, fifteen minutes would be perfect. In the real world, when the conversation gets heated and emotional and requires some counselling and consoling, we are talking forty-five minutes minimum. So my agenda has gone and I will need another visit in the near future.
I actually teach my team to never ask this question and I mean, never. It is hard though, somehow it is a question that pops into your head. So I teach how to fill your head with other great questions so this one does not pop up. Why? Not only will the question ruin your agenda, if I am really honest with myself, do I really care how you are doing? Probably not. That is not a healthy place to build a relationship with a future client.
In trying too hard, this question misses the point of how to obtain information useful to you in building a rapport. I think there needs to be a check-in as to what you really want from the conversation. There needs to be a decision made before you figure out what you're opening question should be.Here is the mindset question --
Do you want to be unified with your client or do want to leave with them an impression that you are willing to walk this journey with them. Unity would sound more like "soul mates," "we are one," "my better half," or "made for each other." Journey would sound like "relationship," "we've walked together," "a long trial," or "look how far we've come."
